forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
