i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
