She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
