If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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