If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
