The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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