I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
