RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
