Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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