just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
