Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
