Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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