I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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