I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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