Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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