Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
