In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
