dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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