I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
