There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
