Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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