Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
