Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
