All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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