he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
