Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
high people should be assigned attendants
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
