toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
