either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize