This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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