I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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