Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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