If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
