Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
