he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
