did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's shark week go big or go home
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
