What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
