Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
