that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
