i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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