i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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