he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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