I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
