My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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