so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize