arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
