no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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