Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
