In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
