East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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