Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
