I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
