OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize