Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
