I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
