You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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