Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
