Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
