Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize