i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
