Can Purell be used as lube?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
