Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize