We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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