I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
