My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
