Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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