Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Be still, my beating vagina.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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