Buhtt sex?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
