He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
