well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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