I CAN MOONWALK!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
