Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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