dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
