My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
