i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
