Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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