bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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