so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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