Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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