he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
